Break Ups
I hate you, we’re over. Don’t ever talk to me. Hearing those hurtful words from someone you care about can really damage you emotionally or even break your heart. Many teenagers deal with breakups from time to time. Some take it harshly, some can blow it off the moment it happens, or some just heal in a slow process. So how do teens now deal with breakups, and what’s good advice to handle one? There isn’t one answer, everyone’s in different situations. There are many things to help cope with a breakup, but the best ones are the positives ones. Making better choices will benefit you greatly rather than putting yourself through depression or maybe even serious matter, such as drugs. Talking to parents, which seems impossible when you're a teenager, can really help, too. Breakups are an emotional issue for many teens because it can affect a teenager in a negative way. There's no guidence on how to avoid having a broken heart or learn to have a happy relationship, you're on your own. But luckily, many teenagers goes through it so you're not alone.
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Breakup Causes:
· Depression
· Drugs
· Alcohol
· Loss of interest in hobbies
· Disruption of daily routine
· Suicide
· Stress
CAUSES OF A BREAKUP
· Communication: Lack of communication can cause couples to grow apart and eventually can cause the loss of interest in their significant other.
· Commitment: If faithfulness isn’t part of therelationship, there’s no point in having one. A relationship should be between two people; not between five, and one of them doesn’t know about the other three.
· Chemistry: Let’s face it, if you have nothing in common and you guys just have nothing going on between you two emotionally; it’s most likely not going to last long. Connection is key.
· Future Plans: Sometimes it’s not always some sad story or someone’s stupidity to cause a split in a relationship. People have future plans such as higher education, moving, or maybe wanting to be independent.
· Money: Most teenagers don’t need to worry about paying bills or making to support your family, but it can be issue. Some teenagers prefer dating someone for financial status, they just simply want to be spoiled- that can lead to a breakup if you don’t fulfill needs.
· Conflict: Fighting too often can really throw off a relationship, and lead to break up. Sometimes conflict can lead to relationship abuse- any abuse should be taken serious.
-For other reasons go to:
Breakup Reasons
· Depression
· Drugs
· Alcohol
· Loss of interest in hobbies
· Disruption of daily routine
· Suicide
· Stress
CAUSES OF A BREAKUP
· Communication: Lack of communication can cause couples to grow apart and eventually can cause the loss of interest in their significant other.
· Commitment: If faithfulness isn’t part of therelationship, there’s no point in having one. A relationship should be between two people; not between five, and one of them doesn’t know about the other three.
· Chemistry: Let’s face it, if you have nothing in common and you guys just have nothing going on between you two emotionally; it’s most likely not going to last long. Connection is key.
· Future Plans: Sometimes it’s not always some sad story or someone’s stupidity to cause a split in a relationship. People have future plans such as higher education, moving, or maybe wanting to be independent.
· Money: Most teenagers don’t need to worry about paying bills or making to support your family, but it can be issue. Some teenagers prefer dating someone for financial status, they just simply want to be spoiled- that can lead to a breakup if you don’t fulfill needs.
· Conflict: Fighting too often can really throw off a relationship, and lead to break up. Sometimes conflict can lead to relationship abuse- any abuse should be taken serious.
-For other reasons go to:
Breakup Reasons
http://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-dating-and-your-child/
Advice for Teens:
Let’s face it; you’re not always going to be able to handle things like breakups alone. Involving too many people could make matters, though. Before you go around telling me people and crying to every single person, always think about yourself. Sure you’re probably just hurt and all you want to do is cry and weep. People understand you’re sad, but not everyone’s going to be able to help, so help yourself first before you get any help from someone else. “When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief” (Help Guide 1)·
It is okay to cry: It’s really okay. All this sadness you’re feeling is only temporary, it won’t last forever. You may think trying to be positive is the right way to go, but it’ll only make you feel worse. If you have to, it’s also okay to cry to someone else. Find someone who cares about you, and you’ll feel better to have someone to listen to your feelings. Try to move on slowly, it’s important to overcome all negative feelings. You have a future in front of you; don’t let this stop you from getting somewhere great in life over a break up.
Talk to someone: Always surround yourself with positive people. People who bring you down aren’t going to make you feel better nor make you a better person. People, who truly listen to you, are the people you should be talking to. If needed, you can get professional help. “Make an effort to meet new people” (Help Guide 1),
Learn to talk care of yourself: Disruption of your daily routine can by caused by a breakup, it’s important for you to adapt to those changes or
make new changes. “Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible” (Help Guide 1). Make some
time for yourself. Do things that you’re interested in or enjoy, treat yourself. Make a new routine and stick to it, if you get back on track you’ll be better in no time. Avoid any thing harmful to your body, drugs and alcohol. Explore new things you haven’t done. “Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can’t think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you” (Kids Health 1).
Learning a lesson: Evaluate yourself. Get down all the things about the relationship that you did or did not like, and keep those things in mind for the future. Learn to control your feelings. Become stronger and don’t let emotions and negativity get to you easily.
Advice for Teens:
Let’s face it; you’re not always going to be able to handle things like breakups alone. Involving too many people could make matters, though. Before you go around telling me people and crying to every single person, always think about yourself. Sure you’re probably just hurt and all you want to do is cry and weep. People understand you’re sad, but not everyone’s going to be able to help, so help yourself first before you get any help from someone else. “When these relationships fail, we experience profound disappointment, stress, and grief” (Help Guide 1)·
It is okay to cry: It’s really okay. All this sadness you’re feeling is only temporary, it won’t last forever. You may think trying to be positive is the right way to go, but it’ll only make you feel worse. If you have to, it’s also okay to cry to someone else. Find someone who cares about you, and you’ll feel better to have someone to listen to your feelings. Try to move on slowly, it’s important to overcome all negative feelings. You have a future in front of you; don’t let this stop you from getting somewhere great in life over a break up.
Talk to someone: Always surround yourself with positive people. People who bring you down aren’t going to make you feel better nor make you a better person. People, who truly listen to you, are the people you should be talking to. If needed, you can get professional help. “Make an effort to meet new people” (Help Guide 1),
Learn to talk care of yourself: Disruption of your daily routine can by caused by a breakup, it’s important for you to adapt to those changes or
make new changes. “Get plenty of rest, minimize other sources of stress in your life, and reduce your workload if possible” (Help Guide 1). Make some
time for yourself. Do things that you’re interested in or enjoy, treat yourself. Make a new routine and stick to it, if you get back on track you’ll be better in no time. Avoid any thing harmful to your body, drugs and alcohol. Explore new things you haven’t done. “Remind yourself of your good qualities, and if you can’t think of them because your broken heart is clouding your view, get your friends to remind you” (Kids Health 1).
Learning a lesson: Evaluate yourself. Get down all the things about the relationship that you did or did not like, and keep those things in mind for the future. Learn to control your feelings. Become stronger and don’t let emotions and negativity get to you easily.
http://mentalhealthnews.org/balanced-parenting-can-reduce-risk-of-teen-binge-drinking/841301/
Parents:
As parents, usually assume that since it’s puppy love, our teens will just wake up the next day and shrug it
off”(Radcliffe 1). So many teenagers now avoid talking their parents because they just feel like they don’t understand anything; you’d be surprised on how much they know. Yes, sure all they seem to make you do are chores and get good grades, but when it comes to situations like these it would pain them to see you hurting. “Fact is teen heartbreak can have long terms effects if not addressed properly” (Radcliffe 1). For teenagers things can get over dramatic, sometimes we do need mom or dad to help us along the way. No matter how much you don’t want them talking to you or nagging you, they’ll always have time for you.
Radcliffe's Advice For Parents
· Let them know you’re always there for them: Face it. They hate being bothered at times like these, but sometimes just having them know you’re there, helps.
· Experiences? Do tell: It’s comforting to know someone close to you felt the same way once before. Don’t overdo storytelling, teens can easily get bored and annoyed at times like these.
· Don’t think about their ex: Teenage breakups are so unpredictable, and no matter how much you want to just strangle the kid, remember you’re there for your teenager to open up to you, not shut you out as usual. Don’t bring up how much you hate their ex, it might not be the last time you see them.
· Listen: As much as you’d like to finally talk about your younger days, at a situation like this, your teen doesn’t care. Sorry, it’s the brutal truth. Unless you have some amazing story that will blow their minds or make them feel better, just shut up and listen most of the time.
· Crying: It kills you to see your own child cry, we know, if you cried your teen would feel the same way. Situations like these, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to just let it all out and cry. It’s a temporary thing, better now that later.
· Help: If it’s serious conditions that you just can’t handle, professional help is always a choice. Whether its depression or drugs and alcohol, you most likely won’t be able to handle all of that, leave it to a professional.
Parents:
As parents, usually assume that since it’s puppy love, our teens will just wake up the next day and shrug it
off”(Radcliffe 1). So many teenagers now avoid talking their parents because they just feel like they don’t understand anything; you’d be surprised on how much they know. Yes, sure all they seem to make you do are chores and get good grades, but when it comes to situations like these it would pain them to see you hurting. “Fact is teen heartbreak can have long terms effects if not addressed properly” (Radcliffe 1). For teenagers things can get over dramatic, sometimes we do need mom or dad to help us along the way. No matter how much you don’t want them talking to you or nagging you, they’ll always have time for you.
Radcliffe's Advice For Parents
· Let them know you’re always there for them: Face it. They hate being bothered at times like these, but sometimes just having them know you’re there, helps.
· Experiences? Do tell: It’s comforting to know someone close to you felt the same way once before. Don’t overdo storytelling, teens can easily get bored and annoyed at times like these.
· Don’t think about their ex: Teenage breakups are so unpredictable, and no matter how much you want to just strangle the kid, remember you’re there for your teenager to open up to you, not shut you out as usual. Don’t bring up how much you hate their ex, it might not be the last time you see them.
· Listen: As much as you’d like to finally talk about your younger days, at a situation like this, your teen doesn’t care. Sorry, it’s the brutal truth. Unless you have some amazing story that will blow their minds or make them feel better, just shut up and listen most of the time.
· Crying: It kills you to see your own child cry, we know, if you cried your teen would feel the same way. Situations like these, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to just let it all out and cry. It’s a temporary thing, better now that later.
· Help: If it’s serious conditions that you just can’t handle, professional help is always a choice. Whether its depression or drugs and alcohol, you most likely won’t be able to handle all of that, leave it to a professional.
As a teenager, I am surrounded by heartbreak all the time. I don’t feel it necessary to plot revenge on each other if it ended badly. No matter how much pain you have to go through, make positive choices. Positive choices will benefit you in the end. If you choose to say, drink, then of course there will be regrets and possibly danger to life. Depression is easily reached during times like these,but it won’t last forever, if you choose not to. After all of my research, theyall say the same things, but what I got out of it was to make a long story short, you are the choices you make. If you’re not ready to handle consequences you get from
something, you aren’t ready at all. You’re a teenager, have fun while you can. As much as you really like the person you were with, there’s a reason why they didn’t stay. There are plenty of fishes in the sea. What’s my advice? Don’t date at a young age if you can’t handle the pressure. You’re still young; you’re not going to get married- so have fun (the positive kind of fun). Having fun is the best positive choice to make.
-Charlene
OTHER LINKS
Break Up Advice For Women
We all have that moment where we just want our ex back. My topic was to help someone cope and give advice to those who go through breaks. It simply teaches you the face that it’s okay to want your ex back, but if don’t act too late.
More Breaking Up Advice For Women
The same old advice only, but by a person with personal experience. It’s for divorced women, too, but my point of having it was because of the advice were really good. It’s a trusted site, you learn to be prepared if ever needed.
Help and Support
This site is made by a breakup survivor. They don’t make things up; it’s all from personal experience which can really help someone out if they feel alone. The site helps you become a good survivor yourself. This site is good for both genders.
Don't date him, girl.
This site is for women/girls who just have questions about men in general while offering good advice and answers. Although it’s meant for women, men can take advice from it too. The site gives you reasons why you should date those boys.
Ways to get over him
You can tell the article was written by a girl, with a little use of humor. The top three advice/ways to get over a breakup makes sense, its three things you really should do. Recognizing it is okay to be sad, staying busy, and making up your mind about your ex is good to follow when you’re still in shock over the break up.
Causes for breakups
This site wasn’t so detailed, but it gave a good list of reasons why couples breakup. The list came up with good reasons, but I had to put it together myself. This source wasn’t the best source, but it was enough to be trusted and used as a source.
We all have that moment where we just want our ex back. My topic was to help someone cope and give advice to those who go through breaks. It simply teaches you the face that it’s okay to want your ex back, but if don’t act too late.
More Breaking Up Advice For Women
The same old advice only, but by a person with personal experience. It’s for divorced women, too, but my point of having it was because of the advice were really good. It’s a trusted site, you learn to be prepared if ever needed.
Help and Support
This site is made by a breakup survivor. They don’t make things up; it’s all from personal experience which can really help someone out if they feel alone. The site helps you become a good survivor yourself. This site is good for both genders.
Don't date him, girl.
This site is for women/girls who just have questions about men in general while offering good advice and answers. Although it’s meant for women, men can take advice from it too. The site gives you reasons why you should date those boys.
Ways to get over him
You can tell the article was written by a girl, with a little use of humor. The top three advice/ways to get over a breakup makes sense, its three things you really should do. Recognizing it is okay to be sad, staying busy, and making up your mind about your ex is good to follow when you’re still in shock over the break up.
Causes for breakups
This site wasn’t so detailed, but it gave a good list of reasons why couples breakup. The list came up with good reasons, but I had to put it together myself. This source wasn’t the best source, but it was enough to be trusted and used as a source.
Works Cited
"Coping with a Breakup or Divorce: Moving on After a Relationship Ends." Helpguide.org: Expert, Ad-free Articles Help Empower You with Knowledge, Support & Hope. Web. 14 Mar. 2011. <http://www.helpguide.org/mental/coping_divorce_relationship_breakup.htm>.
"Helping Teens Get Through a Break-Up." Parenting-Advice.Net Your Internet Parenting Resource. Web. 15 Mar. 2011.
<http://www.parenting-advice.net/teenagers/helping-teens-get-through-a-break-up.html>.
"Getting Over a Break-Up." KidsHealth - the Web's Most Visited Site about Children's Health. Web. 15 Mar. 2011.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/broken_heart.html.
Pictures Cited
http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID43706/images/Sad_Silhouette_by_glendali_at_sxc_hu_small.jpg
http://fixbreakups.com/images/how_to_fix_a_breakup_relationship.jpg
http://www.urbanbellemag.com/2010/06/forget-what-you-thought-study-shows-men.html
http://www.consultdaisy.com/2010/11/ways-to-get-over-sad-break-up.html
http://mentalhealthnews.org/balanced-parenting-can-reduce-risk-of-teen-binge-drinking/841301/
http://family.go.com/parenting/pkg-dating-and-your-child/
